is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
