have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
