I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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