And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
