you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
