so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
