Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
