dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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