Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
