dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Randomize
