Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize