she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize