I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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