Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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