lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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