Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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