Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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