If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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