yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
