haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Alive.
So much puke
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize