So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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