I have demons in me.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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