i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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