the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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