If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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