dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
