Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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