we have officially lost it.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
