Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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