I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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