I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
