Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
not ubering you a puppy
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
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