I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
