dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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