i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
