...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
In other news, I just burned my penis
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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