The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
