I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
