i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
