All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
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