boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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