it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Come see our sink grown plant.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
