But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
