Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
