i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
