But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Randomize
