Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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