why didn't you poke me back
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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