I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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