that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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