If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
