I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize