Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
