i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
