yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
