Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize