small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
