I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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