I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize