hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Randomize
