My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
