I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
